


Barry and Cisco's Love Story

by VenezuelanWriter



Series: Love never dies, it evolves [3]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Love is beautiful, M/M, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-18 16:18:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7322158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VenezuelanWriter/pseuds/VenezuelanWriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cisco recovers from his past relationship with Barry's help and they finally get to a place where they can be together.</p><p>(I recommend you reading the first two stories for the series before reading this one so you enjoy it even more)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Barry and Cisco's Love Story

Since Michael was sent to prison, Cisco has been dealing with a lot of things inside and outside of him.

Psychologically, it’s obvious that there’s been damage caused to his self-esteem. It’s not simple to recover from an abusive relationship, in which he’d been mistreated, practically minimized to an object, judged and incriminated for something he never did.

He has trouble believing that there was a day when things between the two of them worked. Michael used to be kind, gentle, loving, respectful, considerate… It just took him to know Cisco’s best friend to light a spark that was probably on standby inside his messed up head.

When he went beyond verbal insults and accusations and put a hand on Cisco for the first time, it was titanic. He slapped Cisco’s cheek in the middle of a discussion, and Cisco was hysterical. Michael apologized immediately, and Cisco threatened to call the police. Michael changed his attitude and swore it would never happen again. Cisco believed him and understood –right now he doesn’t know how that made sense in the first place- that Michael had just been driven away by the moment, that he was not actually like that.

At least it hadn’t left a mark that everyone would see and that he had to justify to someone else.

Then, when the next times came, Michael didn’t assault his face, but parts of his body where marks could be left because no one would notice them. Cisco didn’t dump him at first because there was still some good inside of him; he kept showing affection in public and even in private. He invited him to eat, he was interested in Cisco’s life…  He was just too worried about someone else being interested in Cisco. He surely thought that he would catch a lot of people’s eyes and that they’d want to be with him, too. Cisco thought it was a little twisted, because even if that happened it wouldn’t matter if Cisco didn’t reciprocate the feelings, but anyways.

It wasn’t until even later that things turned completely black. Now in Michael’s accusations, he assured that Cisco was seeing others, probably sleeping with others and the list kept going. Cisco had considered leaving him, but Michael was persuasive and he made Cisco believe that if he wasn’t actually cheating on him and they broke up, he probably would not find someone who liked him again.

Cisco’s confidence hit the ground and inside of his perturbed and harassed mind, Michael was right: no one would ever like him, someone with some many flaws Michael easily listed off frequently.

_You’re not good enough. You try, but you’re not. You’re too innocent, nobody likes that.  You’re short and your teeth are crooked. You need to eat less, you're getting fat. You think someone’s going to lay their eyes on you? They’re never going to go far enough to find out you’re at least decent in bed._

So Cisco didn’t leave and he didn’t dump him.  Not until…

_“Why you’re not answering the phone? Do you think I can’t do my math? I know you’re fucking with that Allen moron.”_

_“I swear to God I'm not. I’m not with anyone else.” He’s deeply offended by the way he referred to Barry, but the last thing he should do is to defend him._

_“I can’t believe I’ll have to teach you discipline tonight, too. Is it that you enjoy it, or you just stand it because you know you’re actually cheating on-”_

_“No, Mike! I’m sick of this. I don’t care if you drop me, I’m not a fucking punching ball, alright? Fuck. We’re over.”_

That’s when all the physical constant reminders come into the picture. Since apparently, he didn’t have enough with all the shit he had in his head, Cisco has to deal as well with the remaining visible evidence of Michael’s abuses. Every time he looks in the mirror he sees reflected someone too skinny for his own good, and there are still bruises on his back, shoulder blades, abdomen, and the ones that hurt the most but because they bring the most painful memories, those around his hips and thighs.

When the violence was just beginning, sex was fine, just as always. It didn’t change and Michael made sure Cisco enjoyed himself just as much as he did. He was patient and caring, sometimes more aggressive but just in a good way…

A line was crossed the moment sex started to be every time more unpleasant for Cisco. The first signs were that Michael wasn’t as preoccupied on Cisco’s satisfaction as he was on his own. He didn’t listen to Cisco’s request such as “No, wait a sec.” “Please, slower.” “I’m tired. I’m sore.”

It didn’t take much until that was combined with direct aggression: he scratched Cisco’s back too deeply, making him bleed; he held his hips too hard when he was thrusting into him; put him in uncomfortable positions that made his whole body hurt, against furniture too hard or the shower faucets, holding onto his shoulder fiercely or separating his legs too wide.

But at least, after all of that suffering, he has Barry. He already considered him his best friend but there’s no comparison to the things Barry has done for him in this situation. The first thing he did, was to take care of Cisco’s awful bruises.

Cisco wasn’t opening up easily, so Barry started fixing the fixable things first. He went to Cisco’s place the next day after everything was over, and he convinced him to take his shirt off so he could help him. He reminded him that he wouldn’t be disappointed and that all he wanted was for him to recover as fast as possible.

Cisco hesitated on doing it because there were bruises and injuries that Barry had no idea he had. When he finally took his shirt off, unsure at his bedroom, Barry was agape. He covered his mouth in indignation and Cisco’s eyes dropped. Barry tried to be indifferent enough that he could actually serve of help, and surprisingly he managed to do it. He was speechless but still offered a kind hug to show some sympathy and _support_ , most importantly.

He classified the bruises from oldest to newest and did serious medical research to find oral and topic medications that would accelerate the healing process –knowledge he didn’t have until that moment because he studied forensics, not biologics.

Barry guesses and sadly accepts that there are probably more bruises on parts Cisco would not let him see. He asks him to please treat those as well, because if he didn’t no one else would.

He also orders him to eat enough: have three meals in the day plus three snacks between them to keep him healthy, energic, and stable. 

Barry won’t judge him, Cisco doesn’t need more of that. Instead, he covers him up at STAR so people don’t question and worry about where he’s spending his entire days. The most difficult part is to make something up for Caitlin and Harry since they were already aware that something was up with Cisco.

That’s why he doesn’t lie to them but chooses to gather them one day to assure them that Cisco’s situation is too personal to be shared by him. He also asks both of them to trust him and lets them know that he’s going to make everything he can to make sure Cisco is fine. Lastly, Harry and Caitlin made Barry promise that if he needed their help, he wouldn’t doubt on asking for it.

The bruises start to heal, although not as magically fast as any of them wishes it. After a week of a balanced, delicious and nutritious diet has designed for him, Cisco starts to regain his usual and healthy weight too, and all the physicals marks are slowly being erased.

Around that time, is when Cisco starts to finally open up with Barry. He’s realized he can’t keep to himself everything he’s going through and that he has to talk to someone who is obviously going to be Barry.

When Cisco is enjoying the privilege of Barry’s company at his place (something Barry had had to make an excuse for, too), is one of the most valuable kind of moments for him. He gets to be told, face to face and by no one else but Barry, that he’s more than worth loving. He slowly starts to believe so again.

If not (because Barry has to work and still do Flash duties), he’s constantly getting text messages from him that ask him to keep the dark and depressing thoughts he knows he’s having out of his mind. He invites Cisco to see all the good that’s in him so that it replaces the negative mantra he’s repeating himself.

If he’s not able to brush the misery out of Cisco’s mind, Barry doesn’t deny his ears to Cisco’s reasons. He lets him vent what’s bothering him because that is just as necessary as the rest of his recovery.

Cisco doesn’t quite understand how Barry, without having experienced something similar before, seems to have all answers and the precise words to say. Cisco never gets tired of thanking him for it and makes sure to express how much it matters to him what he’s doing.

The hardest part of it all is trying not to confuse feelings there. See, Cisco has had a crush on Barry for some considerable time. Imagine how much that sentiment can grow if someone you have a crush on worries so much about you –you could call it love, even if it’s friendship love-  and declares repeatedly all the good things you have, which you are worth loving for.

No one can blame Cisco for wondering what if Barry were saying all of that out of something bigger than friendship, even when he knows  it’s highly unlikely. When he cries on Barry’s shoulders and he’s held with so much devotion, he craves it would be real the fantasy in which Barry kisses the bad memories away.

 

Although Cisco has improved, he still has breakdowns. He feels shame when he’s found by Barry on his kitchen floor –actually, the shame that flooded him is pretty much all he remembers-, rum bottle in hand and what it is supposed to contain, almost done being poured in his system.

Barry reads the scene slowly. They were supposed to have an actual movie night after a long time. He sighs and goes to stand in front of Cisco, trying to figure out if that bottle if all he got. It seems like it (at least) and he allows himself to feel mortified for all of this; Cisco is crying and really drunk and the moment he saw Barry his face went red.

Barry has been there through the whole recovery time, but seeing him somehow mourn something that caused him so much pain is devastating. He wants to cry, too. He wants to drown those mortifications in alcohol, just as Cisco is doing. His friend has been so deteriorated and disregarded he indeed is crying out of a feeling of unreal loneliness and heartbreak.

What Barry doesn’t know and won’t ever, probably, is that part of what has him in such state is the fact that he can’t even have what he wishes the most: him. It would be the perfect consolation if he at least got Barry at the end of the day. Which, alright, he does, but no like he wants. Barry is his friend and he loves him deeply, but he has to limit himself to see him like that and that only: a friend.

Barry sits down beside him. He would take the bottle off him if there actually were something else he could drink, but that’s not the occasion. He puts an arm around Cisco’s shoulder and brings him to his chest, where he cries out of a mixture of sadness, disappointment, low self-esteem, pain, bitterness….

“I’d be lost without you,” Cisco whispers in the middle of his sobbing. But since one of the liquor’s characteristics is to work as a truth serum, Cisco eventually says more that he would have liked to.

“I love you,” he confesses. It feels really good to say it even when his mind is blurry and he won’t remember it next morning. Lucky for him, Barry sees it as a friendship statement.

In response, Barry kisses his head softly. “Me too, alright? No matter what, you got me.”

It calms Cisco down impressively and he stops crying, obviously mentally devastated. What makes his tears stop is the fact that Barry at least as a friend loves him, too, and that he’s not ashamed of sharing it. He loves him even more for that.

Barry’s chest was a comfortable place, but now with his eyes swollen and dry tears in his cheeks he could really use some sleep. Barry helps him get to bed and stays with him that night, soothing him until he closes his eyes and finally falls asleep.

Cisco sleeps wonderfully, in a peace of mind that is probably Barry’s presence responsibility. Having him so close, knowing that he would be there anytime he woke up, making sure he was safe… those things were more than enough to guarantee a peaceful rest.

 _"I've known it for the longest time and all of my hopes, all of my own words are all_ _over written on the signs but you're on my road walking me home... See the flames inside my eyes it burns so bright I wanna' feel your love.... I messed up this time late last night, drinking to suppress devotion. With fingers intertwined I can't shake this feeling now, we're going through the motions, hoping you'd stop…" **-Ed Sheeran, "I'm a Mess".**_

 

 

Looking at things from the opposite point of view, we have Barry. From the moment he knew about the whole situation, he knew he had to take care of it. The immediate thing to do was to put Michael away, and once that was done, his complete focus was on Cisco.

His intentions always were to take care of him as best as he was able to. However, despite his purposes, he actually had no experience or knowledge about this. No, he’s never been through this before nor knows of someone that has. But he’s determinate to find his way out of this and be useful for Cisco.

He, of course, has to do a research on medical stuff, because he doesn’t need to know about traumatic relationships and abusive ones to understand that those wounds need to be cured for the more permanents ones to heal, as well.

That's when he realized he had to play nutritionist, too: when Cisco had taken his shirt off, Barry could count his ribs if he tried hard enough. Cisco needed to eat more and he needed to regain his old alimentary habits, so Barry familiarized himself with the subject and although this presumably meant having to cook, too, he didn't care if that's what it took for his friend to be himself again.

Barry then reads all he can find on the internet and books related to the matter. He even read information directed to the person suffering the abuse themselves, so he could fully understand Cisco and actually say things that would contribute to his recovery. He combines what he reads with the feelings he already had for Cisco: appreciation, esteem, respect, _love_ , for God’s sake. Of course he loves Cisco. Just like he loves Caitlin and Iris. He was one of his best friends on Earth and he obviously had trouble seeing him this tore apart.

When it comes to kind words, he doesn’t have to lie. He’s already spent enough time seeing the good things in Cisco and he can invest a little more if it’s necessary. He can think of several assets he has –both physical and in his personality. He knows Cisco so well he has the advantage of pointing things out super personal and special about him that’s what make them more effective than everything the Internet info has told him to do.

 

About the covering up, well. He knows that when he did it, it was because he’d felt he had no choice, but he somehow regrets that he ever told Caitlin and Harry that something was wrong with their friend. Now that he couldn’t tell them the rest of the story, had he to make something up so they wouldn’t be worry? No, because they didn’t deserve that. They deserved to know something that was real.

_“No, guys, listen. He made me promise I wouldn’t tell anybody and I can’t betray him. But trust me, please. I’m gonna make sure he’s fine.”_

_“If… if you ever need my help- our help,” Caitlin corrects including Harry, who nods, “Don’t hesitate on asking for it. All I want is that he’s fine.”_

_“Yes, Allen. I stand with Snow. If you need anything just let me know and I’ll do it.”_

 

It’s difficult at first for Cisco to truly talk to him and say the things they both know he has to get out of his chest. Barry can say that when he did, he was still holding up some things to himself. He understands parts of the story must be too private to share –after all, there has to be a background behind the light marks on Cisco’s hips he’s tried not to look at when his shirt lifts slightly.

He knows that it’s still a big deal to tell someone about the ways and the reasons (the worst part of all) why someone beat you.  That’s why he doesn’t push him; Cisco tells him as much as he’s comfortable saying. Barry just makes sure he understands that all he wants to say, he has someone to tell them to.

 

The night Barry found him drowning pains and distresses on rum, that night was _heavy_. Cisco cried too much and it hurt Barry like fucking hell to witness it so freshly and vividly. He was so hopeful they’d finally restart their old habits, catching up, watching a nerd movie together… to come and find this.

He can say it’s been a while since Cisco decided alcohol was the answer because there’s no way he’d drunk all that by himself in less than three hours, minimum. There’s nothing else to prevent him from drinking so he does as he knows, and comforts him.

The saddest part of the night is that when Cisco tells him he loves him; it sounds like if he’s sorry for it, like if it’s a curse loving him because he doesn’t reciprocate the feeling –something Michael had made sure he believed no one would ever do. He answers with a tender kiss, full of concern and gentleness. “Me too, alright?” He starts. It’s of imperious importance that Cisco knows people love him and above all, people he _cares about_ loves him. “No matter what, you got me.” It’s so simple he’s afraid the message isn’t delivered, even when the words couldn’t be more transparent.

Barry feels better with his attempt to soothe Cisco when he notices how quickly he calms down after the phrase. He surely was able to see the honesty of his words and what Barry doesn’t fully understand is why something so basic could minimize his multifaceted storm. He’s content that Cisco stopped crying, even if that also means he cried until he dried up and couldn’t keep anymore.

Barry considered preparing him food to sober him up, but it could be counter-productive if it made Cisco nauseous after he'd already stayed up longer for it.

He walked him to bed and stayed the night. Not on the couch, like other times, but right there on his bed. He was afraid one of Cisco’s occasional nightmares struck that night, something likely after such an emotional collapse. They aren’t constant but when they disturb Cisco’s sleep is big time. They make him have trouble waking up and when he does, he’s terrified and jumpy to the point where he can’t fall asleep again.

The first night he had one, he woke up at 4 am and didn’t call Barry, because he, of course, didn’t want to disturb him. Next time after that, he couldn’t stand it and even when he hated himself for it, he called Barry right after he woke up. Barry instinctively ran his way there even when he’d already heard Cisco’s voice and knew he was safe. He just wanted to calm him personally and have his conscience clear knowing he was doing all he humanly could.

When Cisco mentioned it wasn’t the first time it happened, Barry was frustrated he hadn’t been there for him the first time and made him swear he’d call him if it ever happened something similar.

 

Sometimes Barry gets a little tired because he won’t deny it’s actually exhausting to be available for someone 24/7. But he knows really well he can handle it and even more that he’s willing to do so and whatever it takes for Cisco to recover completely. Whenever he feels somewhat doubtful about everything that this may imply, he likes to look down at his hand and notice his so treasured ring. It means a lot to him, even when it's just a material representation of what really matters: their relationship and feelings. It was unique and special; it told a story about their friendship, partnership for the sake of heroism and about everything that they have been through since they know each other -as Cisco had said it, both of their lives changed the day they met.

There isn’t any other choice, it’s not even contemplated somewhere that he’s going to turn his back on Cisco.

Who knows the things he’d be able to do, how low he’d reach, how he would feel or basically, what would be of Cisco if he felt abandoned by Barry, too? If the only person that was aware of this didn’t offer his help and support to get him out of that deep hole he’d fallen into? (Or maybe, that he’d dug himself into). No, Barry wasn’t going to find out about those odds. He was going to stand beside him as a rock he could lean and rest all of his weight on. 

In the sea of possibilities and variables, one of them was not that he’d succumb to his own emotional exhaustion before he helped Cisco beat his.

 

 

After a long, rough and defining month, things seem to be finally back to normal. Cisco started going to STAR again, his moments of crisis keep getting fewer, his bruises have healed perfectly so there’s no visible trace of those awful acts (no matter what, the psychological ones will always be there even if it's just in the back of his mind), but most importantly: Barry hasn’t left his side a single time.

Cisco is still catching up with his life outside the hole. Now that he’s seeing the rest of team Flash every day, he's getting used once more to be loved and treated as an equal for someone different than Barry, who’s the only one who got to see him (and had to tolerate him) the first (and worst) couple of weeks.

The next one, he at least went outside to the grocery store, to Barry’s place and to the movies. It wasn’t until the fourth week (although he has to admit it would've been a lot more if he hadn't had Barry's help) that Cisco showed up again at STAR and met with Caitlin and Harry after so much had happened.

He doesn’t even worry about them, he guessed Barry had it covered and he was right. When he saw Caitlin, she hugged him as her life depended on it.

_“Oh my God, Cisco. I’ve missed you so much.”_

When he knocked on Harry’s workshop –because while he cried and suffered, they’d found Harry his own workspace- and he turned around, the man, for the first time ever, hugged him. It was a little awkward, but immensely meaningful.

_“I’m glad you’re ok. There’s a lot in here to show you.”_

Barry had warned both of them as well as Iris and Jesse that he was going to be back. He, as politely as he could, asked them not to make any questions about his absence  or that made him explain himself. He assured them that if Cisco was ever ready, he’d share what had happened, but that he didn’t think right now was that moment yet. Luckily they understood, and the moment they laid their eyes on Cisco again, they knew whatever had happened to him was over, because he looked great. They followed Barry’s instructions and let things flow, not asking any questions even when they clearly had them.

Barry, even when he hadn’t been the one suffering the trauma, had an old life to get used to, as well. He’d spent so much time with Cisco –both his free time and the time he freed so he could be with him- that he hadn’t hung out with Iris, Wally, Caitlin or Joe lately. He’s not sure he wants things to be as they were before; now he’ll feel like he doesn’t get enough of Cisco in his life. They’re seeing each other at the labs and in their weekly movie nights, but that’s it? He’s practically lived with him for a month, and now it’s time for a divorce? This is unfair.

For Barry, getting close to Cisco has turned out to be confusing. He’s invested so much time making the good things he has stand out, that now it’s unnatural how easy he notices such things. 

It starts to feel like something more because, now that they’re returning to their normal routines, he doesn’t just want to keep an eye on Cisco so he knows first hand that he’s still fine, but also he wants to be the one who provides him such comfort. It doesn’t feel like jealousy because he wants to share that responsibility with someone else –those are Cisco’s friends- yet he thinks he’s earned some kind of bigger privilege over them. Which is nonsense because he has no right to do that by his own choice, just because they’ve spent more time together lately.

(Maybe Barry is discrediting himself a little; they haven't "spent more time together lately", they have been together through his whole crisis and they have also recovered from it with the strength of the other's support).

If he thinks about this, Cisco never actually stopped hiding this to him. Barry found out on his own and Cisco didn’t have a choice but letting him in, now that there wasn’t anything else to be done.

So maybe , even when this is weird and this is how he remembers feeling about Iris, he has to block those feelings out and realize it’s the natural course of things: They got closer because they’d been through a significant situation together and typically that's something that makes bonds and friendships more solid.

 

They’re playing Uno at Cisco’s living room floor a few days later. Barry just won the first game and since he’s super competitive, he’s cheering excitedly. He looks up to find a too quiet, watery-eyed Cisco.

“Hey, what happened? Something wrong?” he asks worriedly and instinctively, like he’s learned to do after a lot of practice in these stages.

Cisco has a knot in his throat and struggles to talk. “It’s nothing, I just –I remembered of _him_.”

Barry sighs, mortified, even when he knew that answer was all he could expect for. “Dude. He’s a dick, he didn’t deserve you and you know that you don’t deserve this, either.” He was careful not to say something hurtful, because what first crossed his mind was “ _No, don’t go back to that. We’ve been through that.”_ If there was anything of darkness left in Cisco’s confidence, it would just make him feel like he couldn’t even get over things at a normal pace.

“I know, but – I just got melancholic, that’s all.” He shakes his head like it would brush away the tears forming in his eyes.

For said purpose, it’s useless, but at least Barry is sitting down on the couch behind them, patting his shoulder, opening his arms invitingly.

“C’mere,” Barry whispers.

Cisco gets on the couch and accepts the hug, crying quietly and almost unnoticeable. He doesn’t know what makes him feel more pathetic: that he still gets overwhelmed by Michael’s memory or that he’s a really inconsiderate friend for putting Barry in these repetitive situations.

Barry welcomes Cisco into his embrace and runs his hand over his arm and back, giving all the comfort he has. He kisses Cisco’s temple like he’s done before when this happens. Cisco looks up questioningly; he can’t help the little voice in his head giving him hopes about potential feelings Barry might have for him.

The moment their eyes meet, Barry wipes a tear off Cisco’s cheeks, leaving his hand tentatively there. A rush of adrenaline makes him want to kiss Cisco right there and then, like an instinct that emerges out of his whole body and might betray him and his conscious thoughts.

For the first time since feelings started to mix, he acknowledges to himself that he is attracted to Cisco and screw his supposed straightness. Apparently, no one ever gets all the answers or knows what has the life prepared for them. So what if after all of this he ended up liking him? No one could question that.

The clocks seem to stop ticking, but he still doesn’t lean in. It’s a pre-kiss moment in a pre-kiss pose, one of those scenarios where things could only turn out in a way but they actually don’t.

Cisco scoffs and tension is broken around them.

“What?” Barry asks. He hopes he hadn’t been that obvious, right? What they both need the least is to get caught in a confusing and uncomfortable possibility.

Cisco shakes his head. “It’s nothing, I was going to say something stupid.”

“You’ve said a lot of stupid things lately,” Barry answers. He wouldn’t mind quoting Cisco on the absurd things he’s said, but this conversation he’s pretty sure is not about that.

“This one is even worse,” he insists, but so does Barry.

“ _Tell me_.”

In Cisco’s mind, where all of this is a huge stupidity, he decides to tell him just so he knows it’s not a suicidal impulse or something similar. “I thought –I know it’s _ridiculous_ ,” he clarifies before finishing, Barry can’t know he was hoping it happened, “but I thought that you were about to, you know, kiss me.” He tries to minimize the importance he’s giving it with his tone, putting all his efforts on making it seem like he did not want him to do it.

Barry gets nervous, but this could be the only chance he gets to say his feelings without being out of place and context.  Besides, it was a good sign that Cisco had noticed his intentions and not pulled apart violently. “I, ahm. I was.”

Cisco’s mind is working too fast, he’s really impressed his assumptions weren’t just things his head had made up for him and his self-contentment.

“You were? Then why you didn’t?”

“Because you would think I’m a confused mess. And you wouldn’t actually be wrong by thinking that.” He takes a deep breath. “Plus I don’t want to do something that makes you confused about anything.” _Like our friendship, or your feelings for me and mine for you, which are not completely clear yet._

“Barry. If you haven’t changed your mind,” _Don’t take it back, just say it,_ “feel free to kiss me.” _He was going to do it, relax._

Cisco is dreamy when he sees Barry leaning in a little, waiting for their faces to be less than an inch apart before he closes his eyes. He feels Barry’s breath against his mouth and stays put until Barry’s lips brush slightly with his. Barry kisses him cautiously, firmly and slowly. It’s a short peck but Cisco feels confident enough to bring their mouths together once more and this time, a little longer.

Cisco heart beats faster than ever before and he wants to keep doing this and melt completely into Barry’s mouth. It feels like he’s flying, he doesn’t remember any of his demons and he certainly isn’t thinking about something else that’s not Barry and his thin lips sweetly against his.

Barry’s stomach is dropping, he’s nervous and amazed by the glorious happiness he feels when he’s kissing Cisco, even if it’s so slow and timidly.

“Uhm, Cisco. Is this fine? You don’t think it’s weird or anything?” He’s so worried Cisco is doing this because he’s pressured or feels like he owes him something. He’s never noticed any signs that this was a reciprocated or even prior feeling.

“ _I’m_ the one who’s scared. Since when do you… have these… interests for me?” If Barry only knew. Was he supposed to explain from the beginning that he’s always had a crush on him? Wouldn’t it be weird if Barry turns out to be confused and he has already confessed his deep feelings? Something that would really suck, too, would be that this leads to nowhere and after he’s tasted what heaven feels like, it is taken away from him.

“I don’t know. It’s something that’s been building up since we got closer for all of this… I don’t want to hurt you, Cisco. I couldn’t stand it.” He needs to be honest. He won’t say he’s fallen for Cisco, nor that he just acted because the heat of the moment.

“I understand.” He debates with himself whether or not he can talk about his crush. After some doubting, he realizes that there’s no need on rushing things: if this doesn’t lead anywhere, it could damage their friendship or make things considerably awkward. “Will you figure things out first or… would you like to…?” He doesn’t finish his question because he has no idea of what he was supposed to suggest.

“Look, Cisco. You mean so much to me.” He holds Cisco’s hand in his. “I would like to take my time first in order to protect you, but I would also selfishly like to start dating you right now because this kiss felt like paradise and I don’t want to sit and wait until I know exactly what this is ‘cause something I _do_ know is that it’s something really big and really, really good.”

Cisco’s eyes are blighting of joy and deep love and hope. He smiles and rests his head against Barry’s. “I think we can take that risk, then.”

Barry smiles back and they kiss again, cuddling on the couch to have a wonderful night of sleep. What none of them know is that that’s just the beginning of one of the purest and most beautiful loves they ever have and will experience.

 

 

It’s been almost three weeks since that night. Their feelings are clear; they don’t doubt that what they’re both feeling is real and authentic love. They made sure to verbally phrase so and after they did (six days after their first kiss during a romantic and beautiful date night at the park), they evidently relaxed and felt that they were finally safe to let themselves fall into each other.

 

_It was probably past 10 pm and they weren't supposed to be there, just under the dim light of the stars (since the lampposts went off two hours ago when the park officially closed) sat on a bench around one of the many colorful gardens of the place, holding hands in silent._

_Barry turned to Cisco, looking for his eyes._

_"I have something for you," he said, going through his jacket pockets until he was holding a small box in his hand._

_Cisco smiled sweetly. "You didn't have to."_

_"I know, but I really wanted to." He opened the box and it contained a ring, silver like Barry's but thinner. "I'm sorry I couldn't think of something really cool to have it engraved. I wasn't sure one single word or date could define all of this. But..." He sighed, holding the ring between his fingers. He looked Cisco straight on the eyes. "I love you. I love you in the most... sincere and deep of ways, and more than anything could express. And this –this is just something to show it to you, because I want you to remember it every single second. You're special to me and I'm more than serious when I tell you that I want to commit myself to you and your love. Since rings mean compromise... I hope it does the job." He smiled and gave Cisco the ring, so he'd decide where to wear it._

_"Barry..." Cisco was speechless. He placed it on his ring finger. "You're even better than everything I could ever have asked for. I love you, you know I do and that's something that never will change. You've helped me grow and move past terrible things... and I can't thank you enough for that. You're so special to me, too and... and I'm just saying whatever that crosses my mind hoping I do say the right words. Even when not even all the terms in the world could help me fit this," he gestured to his chest, "in words."_

_Barry cupped his cheek and ran his thumb over it, bringing him for a kiss. It wasn't brief; it was passionate and they felt how their hearts were officially handed over in silver platters to ech other, how their feelings were finally fully thrown into their bond, and how they became sure in that same instant that they were doing the right thing._

 

In private, they’ve gone slow and patient. They’ve slept together (literally, of course, just as they had already done it several times), kissed tenderly and still a little guardedly, and they’ve exchanged lots of text messages –more than they already used to do.

They’re cuddled while watching TV on Barry bed – _Yeah, grown men have pajama parties too, Joe_ \- and during a commercial break, Cisco turns to Barry reaching for a kiss. It starts sweet, like their usual lip-locks, but being in a bed holding and kissing each other is a combination that has actually taken really long before it leads them to a little bit more. The kiss at first just gets more passionate, there’s just a slight brush of tongues every once in a while. Barry continues to gently caress Cisco’s arms over his shirt, as well as his chest, his back and his waist.

He can’t help get excited, but he notices that Cisco is too quiet, restrained and still in this. Even when he is apparently enjoying himself, his hands aren’t tracing Barry’s body and in the kiss, he doesn’t do anything before Barry does. At first, maybe he was just too shy or insecure, but by this point, he could at least grab Barry’s arm and not moving like he's handcuffed.

Barry pulls apart and removes his hands of Cisco’s body, holding just his chin. He kisses his cheek softly and acts understandingly. Cisco looks disappointed.

“What? Did I do something that upset up?” He asks, scared.

“No, I just know you’re not comfortable.”

Cisco gets nervous and thinks he has to do this, that otherwise Barry will get bored of him. “I am, c’mon, keep going.” He invites Barry to do _something_ , anything, getting closer to his body.

Barry shakes his head. “Cisco, you don’t need to do this, I swear. I won’t go anywhere.”

Cisco knows he can stop pretending; Barry has always read him too well. “Are you sure?”

“Cisco. I’m not with you so I can have sex with you. That’s not me. I like you so much in a really personal way. It’s the way you look at me, the things you do and say, your personality that makes me like you. And yeah, sure, I think you’re attractive and that you have beautiful eyes, a charming smile, incredibly soft hair and your body, well…” he looks down Cisco’s shape. “Yeah, I definitely like it. But I am perfectly able to keep it in my pants. I know that eventually, you’ll be up for more, right?” Cisco nods vehemently. “Perfect, so by then, trust me, I’ll be really willing for all of it. But before you want to, don’t feel pressured to do anything.”

Cisco nods and smiles. “Fine, fine. I won’t pressure myself, I promise.”

 

 

When it finally happens, it’s too magical and unreal to be true.

_“Hey, are you sure? You know you don’t have to do this.”_

Barry was worried Cisco still felt pressured. It seemed like it had been enough time, but what if he wasn’t actually ready?

Cisco made sure to let him clear that he wanted this and that he wanted it a lot. He was the one who took all of the initiatives in the foreplay, constantly making his point: _Yes, I want it. No, I’m not pressured. Please, feel free to do anything you want._

Barry took the message, making him promise that if at any point he wanted to stop, he’d say it, no matter in what part they were. Cisco promised it contently and they proceeded to enjoy each other.

Barry was gentle but intense, he was really good at discovering what things did Cisco like and what made him aroused the most. Cisco reciprocated the treatment and got Barry hardened sooner than he expected.

_“You know,” Barry whispered into his ear, right before he finally entered him following a patient and caring prep, “I haven’t even touched myself since we started dating. Have you?” Cisco shook his head. His eyes were watery and his cock was against his abdomen, desperate for release. Barry smirked. “I’m going to make you have really good time.”_

They’d discussed that they were both clean, so they weren’t worried about condoms. Barry finally placed himself between Cisco’s legs and pushed in, the heat and stretchiness of Cisco were mind-blowing.

It was sweet love-making; after all, with a dramatic heartbreak that involved sexual harassment in the history and with such a protocol for their first time, the least they could do was to have vanilla and conventional sex.

The outburst was beautiful, a combination of pleasure and love too strong and too deep to be compared with anything else. (Not that they were hoping for less).

 

 

When Barry runs to STAR almost dying, poisoned with scorpion venom and he’s struggling for strength to get himself on a stretcher so Caitlin can cure him, Cisco panics. He was behind the keyboards, tracking down the metahuman that had attacked Barry. He didn’t manage to focus as he stood up to stand at his bedside, asking him to hold on.

“No, no, no, no. Please. Stay with me, alright, you can’t-” he doesn’t think through it when he leans in and kisses Barry on the lips. After everything they’ve gone through, how is he going to lose him, too?

Caitlin was reading Barry’s vitals and Harry had arrived without any of them noticing, but Cisco couldn’t care less at the moment.

Barry falls unconscious, but it helps Caitlin to treat him and get the venom out of his bloodstream. When he wakes up, Cisco is holding his hand, which he reaches to kiss softly.

Caitlin throws them a knowing and happy glance, and Cisco confesses, “They all know. I told them.”

He wouldn’t have taken the freedom of doing it if he hadn’t known Barry was totally on board with the decision. He’d just done it after kind of messing up and exposing them. In his defense, it had been a really mortifying situation.

“I am so happy you did,” Barry whispers, gaining another _lovebirds_ look from Harry.

 

They know they’ll survive, as long as they’re together.

* * *

_"Stay for tonight. If you want to I can show you what my dreams are made of, as I'm dreaming of your face... I can't imagine being anywhere else but here_

_"How the hell did you ever pick me? Honestly, I could sing you a song but I don't think words can express your beauty... How the hell did we end up like this?... I fell in love from the moment we kissed, since then we've been history_

_"They say that love is forever, your forever is all that I need. Please stay as long as you need_

_"Can't promise that things won't be broken, but I swear that I will never leave. Please stay forever with me._  
  
_"The way that we are is the reason I stay. As long as you're here with me I know I'll be OK"._  
  
**_-Sleeping With Sirens, "If I'm James Dean, You're Audrey Hepburn"._**


End file.
